There was a time when I would write Stay Strong on my hand to help me fight through the rough times last year. I wrote it to remind myself that I'll get through it, everything will be all right, and not to cry. So, I never cried. I stayed like a rock, not budging, and did, well, what I thought staying strong meant. Little did I know that all those little things I gathered along the way began to hurt more and more. I wouldn't show emotion to it. I thought I was so strong, and thought that nothing would get to me. But, I was wrong. Everyone hurts sometimes, and sometimes a lot more than other times. Over time I grew afraid to cry. Staying strong was what I thought kept me going. Every time some type of obstacle was thrown at me, I'd take the hit, but not let my emotions take over. I would fight those tears by putting on a smile. That smile seemed to hide the real me, and the pain I felt inside. Nobody noticed. I guess my drama teacher was right about me being a pretty good actress. At the time I thought that nobody seeing my hurt was a good thing. When someone is hurt or confused or lonely or sick they usually cry, but I fought through it all. I fought through it, and I thought I wasn't going to have to deal with it ever. But I was wrong, because it kept gathering inside me, and I began to hurt more and more. I still stayed strong, because by this time where so much had gathered up in me I was too afraid to cry to feel anything. I never told anybody I was afraid to cry. It had been like that on and off for years, but this past year has definitely been the worst. I felt I had to stay strong for my friends, and stay strong so that no one could knock me down. I have fought through a lot over the past few years. I have gone through stuff I am actually not really willing to talk about yet, but let me tell you, I've been through a lot. Those two words, Stay Strong, got me through those rough days. I hid from my tears though. Eventually, I talked to one of my best friends, Gillian, and I confessed for the first time that I was afraid. The support she gave me was comforting. I saved her and my conversation on my phone, so now every time I need to hear those words I can look back and remember.
The other day I was listening to a variety of music, and came across a singer I used to listen to when I was younger, Demi Lovato. I got really in to her music, and started watching interviews with her. I noticed that she had tattoos saying Stay Strong on her wrists. When I saw that it made me want to hear more about her story. Little did I know, we have quite a lot in common. Some of the crap we have gone through is very similar. Her story is my story. I have gone through, and am currently going through a lot that she has gone through, and it is nice to know that I'm not completely alone. She has become and inspiration to me. I learned what was the meaning of Stay Strong in her eyes, and when I heard about it something changed me. I've decided to see Stay Strong in a slightly different perspective from now on. To me, Stay Strong is a reminder to myself that no matter what I'm going through I will get through it. And when I'm hurting or having my own problems, I am always reminded that no matter what everything will be all right in the end.
Now, I always write Stay Strong everyday in some place where I can see it as a reminder to myself. A reminder that everything will be all right, to never give up without a fight, that it's ok to cry, and to believe that one day I will look back and remember that I stayed strong..
Stay Strong<3
lovelovelove,
Melissa
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