Take me away.

I just want someone to take me away right now. I want to go camping in a quiet place for a while. Somewhere with a beach or lake that can be seen straight from the tent. I want a friend with me who doesn't mind being quiet at times. Someone who will sit and read books with me during the day, and snuggle to keep warm with me at night. I want to be able to look up at the sky, and see all the sparkling stars. There will be a little fire so we can roast marshmallows. Our phones will be somewhere locked away in my car. Just us, and the peace and calm of the world. And maybe through all of this peace, I will be able to find myself again. Maybe I'll be able to let everything go, and shed my last tear. I want so much to escape from this world. All of this pain. I want it to end. I want to be able to breathe for once. Even if it's just for a little while.


Peace. Camping. Stars. Quiet. Friend. Books. Relief. Marshmallows. No stress. Breathe.

lovelovelove,
Melissa

Dream with Jules Callaghan

I have gotten used to having nightmares most nights. It's just the way things are. I can't thoroughly wrap my mind around why, but that is just the way it is. When I'm not having nightmares, I'm not dreaming at all pretty much. But it was different last night, and I wouldn't take it back for anything. So, this morning my alarm went off for my early morning run, but I turned it off without thinking and fell back asleep. Whoops... Well, maybe it's not completely a whoops, because when I fell back asleep I had an amazing dream.
Most people would probably consider my dream more of a nightmare, but the fact that Jules Callaghan, my favorite character from the TV show Flashpoint, was in it made my life. I have always wished that one day I'd get to meet the actual character {even though that isn't really realistic,} but in my dream I actually got to. That right there made the whole nightmare one of my favorite dreams ever. For those who don't know who Jules Callaghan is, here is a picture of her and my favorite quote of hers from season 1, episode 6. This picture is my desktop background right now, hahaha. But seriously, I love her. She is so inspiring, and she truly is an incredible woman.

Anyway, back to the dream. I only remember certain excerpts of the dream, so bare with me when I start jumping around. I remember that the SRU, Strategical Response Unit, was having a practice lock down type thing. It was kind of like they were practicing for a real emergency/gun threat type thing in the middle of the city at night. Everyone in the surrounding buildings were forced to leave their buildings and go to this one area. I happened to be in ballet when this happened. So, I was just in a black leo, tights, sneakers, and a jacket. Luckily I had a jacket, because it was really cold. Things started to get really scary when I got left alone in all this commotion. To make things worse, there was actually a bad guy there and he had a gun, and it then turned into an actual high-risk case. I'm surprised I didn't wake up at this point, because it was quite terrifying with everyone running in all different directions plus there was a shooter on the loose. I just freaked out not knowing what to do, and after that it goes black. I don't know what happened to me during this time. I just can't remember, but I do remember that the shooter was eventually put in custody and that everything was safe again. Somehow the scene changed to being in my neighborhood. There was still a lot of cop stuff being done down the street, but Jules happened to be walking me home. The weird part is that I was bawling, just flat out bawling in her arms. She helped me walk up to my doorstep where at that point I was a complete mess. I don't think I've ever cried that much. She just held me in her arms and let me cry until I couldn't any longer. Then she said that I was going to be okay, that she's here for me, and something very similar to the quote above. We said goodbye for now, and then I went inside. That was the end of the dream.
It's kind of weird that I consider that one of my favorite dreams, but really the main reason that it's my favorite dream is because I got to meet Jules, who happens to be my all time idol. So, yea, it was slightly terrifying, but meeting Jules made up for it all.

lovelovelove,
Melissa

OMG! Big News!!!

I got home yesterday very tired. {I didn't get much sleep, because I was studying.} I went to my parents bedroom and watched a few episodes of my favorite TV shows. Then, my brother got the idea to watch to watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It was pretty good. It was a little sad, but I also thought it was a pretty fun movie, despite the moments when I had to force Liam to cover his eyes. Afterwards, I made Liam his own dinner, pizza, and I had a strong feeling I wasn't going to eat again. I cant eat pizza anymore, along with a lot of other foods. Even though i couldn't eat it, Liam was dancing around the house all excited. He probably could marry pizza.
My mom got home from work very happy, and all giddy. She called me over into the kitchen to show me something on the iPad.  It was the email I had been waiting for for months. I read it quietly, and by the time I had finished I was crying and grinning at the same time. I had been accepted to a UC Davis Astrophysics Program during the summer! I started crying even harder once I reread the second to last paragraph. I got a full scholarship!! I was shaking and crying so much. I just couldn't believe, and still cant, that I, Melissa Torres, made it into the program of my dreams. I feel so blessed. I feel like this a dream. You guys, I'm going! I don't even know how to express how I feel besides saying "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! OH EM GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
So many other good things have been happening in the last 2 days, but this definitely tops all of them! I have been praying for betters day comparison to the ones a few weeks back. Yesterday, I prayed before school, and asked to please help me. I was feeling stressed, tired, and worried, but I put everything into His hands. I let Him lead the way, and now look at the amazing things He had done for me. I'm so blessed.

This video above is the song that has been helping me get through all of my rough days. I cant even tell you how much I can relate to this song. I have been singing this song at 1 or 2 in the morning crying for God's help. He listens so much.
I hope you guys are all doing fabulous! I love you all!
lovelovelove
Melissa

Nightmares

I really hate waking up after just having a nightmare. I'm so shaken up. IT was one of those where after you awaken, you lay in bed, try to remind yourself it was not real, and try to move on. But, I cant. It's one of those nightmares that plays over and over inside your head. One that I'll probably remember for a while. All the faces circle in the back of my eyes, and the words are a constant echo in my head. I feel like these dreams always come back to haunt me. Whenever I start to get happy, they bring me down again. It was one of those nightmares where it wasnt necessarily scary, but more the people and words that made it what it is. I feel like this is repetitive. It's a never ending nightmare.
lovelovelove,
Melissa

My Dream {Taylor Swift}

Hey everyone! i just wanted to tell you guys about my dream last night, but first I have to explain to you where it came from. So, yesterday I finished Cannery Row, the book I was reading. It was quite boring, but there is nothing really you can do about that. In one part of the book, these two guys were talking about a parade that happens every year. Apparently that parade is very boring. I think the parade connects to my dream some how, though I have no clue why. Anyways, here is my dream:

The story goes is that it is forth of july. I am in another city getting ready to watch the parade. I was kind of in a bummer mood since I knew the parade was going to be the same as always and boring. The parade started and I sat there on the side of the rode with a whole bunch of other people. After the mayor, council members, band, and all the parade people went by, people were starting to leave in the back. But for some reason I stayed. There was still a lot of people though. Then out of no where people, including myself, started screaming. Taylor Swift was in the parade! She was handing out guitar picks with her face on them! I was completely dieing! I was freaking out so bad! Then she gave me some picks and then threw me something else! I don't remember what it was exactly but I was so stoked! I could not believe what was happening! Then out of the blue, she looked right at me and waved! I was in such shock! It was amazing!

So anyways, that was my dream! I woke up and had a smile from ear to ear! I was so excited and happy even though it was only a dream! I loved it! And what is funny is that I actually have her guitar picks! I love them so much ! I got them for Christmas two years ago! So, ya. That dream put me in a really enlightened spirit! I loved all my excitement!
lovelovelove,
Melissa