Hidden Side {Scared}

I'm really scared right now. I got woken up by my dad at about midnight, because my mom needed to be rushed the hospital. It's so scary to see her like that. I just want her to be okay. I'm freaking out inside. The most horrible thoughts are running through my head. I keep trying to block them from my head by using distractions. I just watched the most recent The Fosters episode, and that just made things worse. God, I can't sleep. How did my supposedly "Happy" Valentines Day turn in to this? Why did this have to happen? Is she going to be all right? Just an hour before I was watching funny tv shows with my mom, and now she's in the hospital. How did this all happen within an hour? I fall asleep for one hour, and this happens? I just want a hug right now. I want to cry. I already have to deal with so much, and this is just making it all worse. I want someone to be here with me right now. I'm so alone at 3 in the morning with my mind wandering in to dark places, and my anxiety getting worse as the clock ticks by. I need someone here to sit on this couch with me, and to tell me every thing will be all right.
If anyone is reading this, please pray for my mommy. Thank you.
lovelovelove,
Melissa

"Human"

I like to listen to music. Like all the time. Recently I have been more in to music that I can relate to, instead of just to have fun and dance to. Something about having that emotional connection with a song can be really empowering. I found this song the other day on tumblr, and I literally have not stopped listening to it. Something about songs like this I am just really attracted to. I will have to make a playlist one day for you all. It's kind of my "sad" song playlist, but I don't know, I like it.
Anyway, I'm obviously getting a little off topic. This song is called "Human" by Christina Perri. I'm sure you guys may have heard the song on the radio or something. I hadn't heard it, but my mom has, so it must be played on the radio at least a little bit. I hope you guys like it:)

I just really love the video. It's gorgeous, and Christina is obviously one of the most gorgeous women ever. When I first watched the video, it moved me in a way that no other video has done before. I truly love it. The song, the video, the singer... all amazing.
lovelovelove,
Melissa

Hidden Side {Losing Hope}

Some days I just wake up wishing I never did. I know automatically that the day isn't going to be a good one. I have a lot of these days. But I go to school, and I smile. I pretend like I'm fine. I pretend like I am happy and that I love life. People ask me if I'm happy, and I lie. I'm not. I'm not happy. Must days I am suffering. I am fighting a fight that no one can see. I can only feel it inside me. I'm barely staying afloat. I am crying inside. I am dying inside. And I'm smiling on the outside. I don't know how much longer I can keep fighting. I'm losing hope. She said that there is a light at the end of this tunnel, but I don't see it. I don't see anything, except darkness. There's no light. Staying strong is so hard. Having to pretend that I see that light; that I'm in that light tears me apart even more. Where's the light? Where am I supposed to be looking? There's nothing. I'm all alone. All I feel are those inner demons tearing me apart; killing me one little bit at a time. I don't want to do this anymore.
lovelovelove,
Melissa