Hidden Side {Suicide}

Hi everyone. I don't think I've ever touched the subject of suicide and I feel that it needs to be talked about. Not later. Not next week. Not tomorrow. Right now.

Last night was one of the roughest nights I've ever lived through. One of my closest friends texted me, asking me not to be mad. I didn't understand at first and asked why. She replied that she had overdosed. Everything in me started to shut down. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't control the tears falling from eyes. One of my best friends had just overdosed and I couldn't be there to save her. I tried to convince her to make herself throw up to get them out and to tell someone. She refused. She didn't want to be alive anymore and I couldn't even stop what she had done. Honestly, this is the worst part about long distance. Having her on the east coast and me over here is so scary, especially when things like this happen. I continued talking with her, trying to convince her to tell someone. She was starting to get nauseous. Then she told me she was scared. She realized she didn't want to die. I called the campus police at her school and told them where she was and what was happening. They hung up and I never heard back. I didn't know what happened. She stopped texting and no one called to tell me what happened. I stayed up all night praying, crying, shaking, hoping. She finally texted me saying that she was okay and thank you for saving her life.

Suicide is honestly one of the scariest things ever. If I hadn't decided to text her, I might have never heard her beautiful voice or seen her beautiful smile again. That thought has me shaking like crazy right now.

Please, if any one of you is considering suicide or needs help, come talk to me. Please. I am here for you. Suicide isn't worth it. My friend didn't even die and I have not stopped shaking since that first text. Please know that you are loved. SO LOVED. I love you so freaking much. I may or may not even know you, but I love you. And your family, pets, friends, acquaintances, strangers would miss you so much. Please. You are not worthless. Life DOES get better. It may seem foggy now, but just like everything else, this will, too, pass. Please stay strong. Not just for me and those who love you, but for yourself. I love you.

lovelovelove,
Melissa