I looked back today, and realized that I haven't used my camera since November. I know. What the heck is wrong with me? You want to know why? Well, I won't go in to detail, but I have been fighting through a lot: eating problems, depression, anxiety... that's just a few to title. Through all of this stuff I have been going through, I have lost touch with many things that used to mean the world to me. I lost my perfect grades. I lost a healthy body. I lost my interest in photography. I lost the joy in dancing. I lost friends. I lost motivation. I lost my connection with God. I lost many, many things.
Although I had lost many things, this weekend I have gained a few back. My grades are starting to go up again. I have pulled out my camera again, and started shooting whatever caught my eye. I am starting ballet this summer. I have motivated myself enough to do things I would not have done a week ago. And most importantly, I have started talking to God again.
I know, this is all kind of a big deal. Melissa's fixed!!! Haha, probably not. I don't think things like that happen in just one weekend, but this weekend has given me hope for a better future. After drowning so much in my issues for so long, I am starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I keep praying that that light is not just a candle fooling me, but that it is actually God leading me to a better, happier place.
Here are just a couple of shots I took around my room. I'm such a fool, but that's okay. :P
I truly hope that I continue to feel in this brighter mood. It is honestly such a relief to feel like this for once. Feeling constantly down and hopeless is not in anyway fun, and it makes you question many things. Hopefully this change will stay, and things will start to look upwards from now on. Love you guys! xo
lovelovelove,
Melissa
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